


One Drunk Alicorn

by GigaBowserNS



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Drunkenness, Gen, Hangover, Hijinks & Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 07:52:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13654707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GigaBowserNS/pseuds/GigaBowserNS
Summary: What would you do if you woke up one day to find an Alicorn Princess Goddess passed out drunk on your doorstep, unable to be awoken? Rainbow Dash certainly has her hooves full with this one. How is she going to handle this??





	One Drunk Alicorn

_Yaaaaawwnnnn…_

Rainbow Dash blearily inched her eyes open, wincing from the irritation the sunlight caused them. She moaned and held a hoof up to block out some of the brightness. "Ughh…" she muttered, "Ponies were not meant to be up at this hour…"

She slowly began to pull herself out of bed; a task that, to her, was almost as tough as the feats of the Wonderbolts. Her entry examination was growing closer every day, and she knew that Wonderbolts trainees had to be awake at the crack of dawn. So, she was begrudgingly trying to train herself to wake up as early as she could.

Sitting over the edge of her bed, hunched forward, she stretched her six limbs. She yawned again and blinked her eyes wearily. . Her brain was screaming at her to just collapse and go back to sleep, and every muscle in her body protested each tiny movement she made. She felt as if she had no energy and couldn't move. Yawning for a third time, she rubbed her eyes with her hoof and then glanced to her nightstand. The blue and yellow Wonderbolts brand alarm clock displayed 10:20 AM.

Dash shrugged. "Eh…Close enough."

Thus, Dash's morning began. She ever-so-slowly pulled herself out of bed, hauled herself to the kitchen, and made herself toast and scrambled eggs. Her hooves dragged on the floor of her cloud home as she walked, as if gravity were five times stronger this morning. She then moved to her bathroom, where she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

It nearly made her reel back in horror. "Whoa…Nice mane, Dash…" Indeed, her normally vibrant and stylish rainbow mane was in complete disarray; the seven colours all mixed together into a muddled mess. It was 20 minutes before she was finally able to leave the bathroom, but she was rewarded with an awesome mane of perfection.

As she moved about, her muscles began to ache less and the feeling of sluggishness began to wear off, but she could not ignore the feeling that she felt utterly tired. She desperately wished she were back in bed, snoozing and dreaming.

Yawning for about the tenth time since she'd woken up, she decided to take a step outside and get a breath of fresh air. That was sure to wake her up. She made her way to the front door and stepped out onto the cloudy patio.

She was greeted with a view of the entire town of Ponyville spread out below her as her cloud home hovered many yards above the ground. The late morning air was crisp and clean, and a faint breeze was blowing. Dash stuck out her neck, took a long, deep inhale, and sighed in content.

"That's more like it…" she murmured, the open, fresh air invigorating her and driving away her fatigue. She unfurled her wings and stretched them out, letting the cool spring air dance across them. She smiled as she let her eyes trail across Ponyville.

The town was awake and bustling. The market was a flurry of activity, with many stands and shops set up for the townsfolk to purchase from. She could easily pick out Applejack's apple stand. She saw many ponies walking to and fro, some headed to work, and some merely out enjoying the day. There were a few pegasi flying through the air as well, some tending to the weather.

"Looks like an awesome day…" Dash said to herself.

Chuckling and already trying to decide what she would be doing today, Dash began to turn around to return inside to finish her morning routine. As she turned, however, she immediately caught sight of something off to the side of her patio. Something fairly large that was difficult to miss was laying on the clouds that held up her home.

Dash blinked and did a double take. "Wh-What…?" she muttered, not quite understanding what she was seeing. She cautiously inched forwards.

Sprawled out on what was basically her doorstep was a large pony laying on her side, angled away from Dash with her hooves towards her, eyes closed and chest rising and falling slowly and evenly. If the mare's cutie mark and distinctive mane weren't enough to identify her, then her wings and horn certainly were.

"Uhhh…Princess Luna…?" Dash cautiously ventured as she trotted up next to the comatose pony.

The Princess did not move or respond in any way. She lay still, breathing slowly and quietly.

"Ummm…Are you okay…?" Dash stared at the Princess, perplexed and not quite sure what to do. Was she asleep? Was she hurt? Dash wanted to make sure that Luna was okay, but was wary of disturbing her if she really was just sleeping. But then why would she be asleep on Dash's doorstep?

Dash glanced at her surroundings, looking for some sort of hint or explanation. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary about her home or Ponyville nearby. The only unusual characteristic was Princess Luna herself.

"Your Highness?" Dash spoke, a little louder this time, "Can you hear me?"

Still, there was no response.

Dash furrowed her brow. _What the heck…?_ She shuffled on her hooves, confused and feeling antsy. _She's breathing, I can see that much, but…_ Dash took another furtive glance around before stepping even closer and carefully extending one of her hooves. She delicately placed it on the Princess' ribcage and gave her some forceful, but still gentle, nudges.

"Hey! Princess Luna! You all right?" Dash shook her a little rougher. "Yoo-hoo…?" Still nothing.

_Uh oh…_ Dash thought, _She's not waking up…_ A brief moment of anxiety shot through her, which she quickly shook off. There had to be some kind of explanation for this, and she was going to find it.

Dash then went to lean forward, intending to put her ear to Luna's chest so as to hear her heartbeat. Dash was no medical expert, but she could tell that _something_ was wrong with Luna. Her concern was overtaking her trepidation, and so she had no qualms about disturbing Her Highness' personal space.

But she didn't make it to Luna's chest. Halfway through her descent, she paused, having detected something. She instead moved her head towards Luna's open mouth and leaned in as close as she could. Dash inhaled deeply through her nose.

"Ohhh, man…" Dash moaned as she stood back up, shaking her head, "She's _drunk_!"

Dash had caught the unmistakable scent of alcohol on the Princess' breath, which had conclusively confirmed exactly what Luna was suffering from.

She was hungover.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh…" Dash muttered as she began to pace back and forth across her doorstep. She wracked her mind for ideas about what to do now. Her Royal Highness, Princess of the Night, was passed out drunk on her doorstep, and she wasn't waking up. That sentence alone was weird enough, let alone that it was actually happening.

"Okay…" she muttered, "Okay…Somepony had a _little_ too much fun last night…You can ask her why you weren't invited after she wakes up…But right now…" Dash stopped in her tracks and groaned. "Ugh! What am I supposed to do with a drunk Princess…?"

Dash quickly returned to Luna's side. She gave her a fairly rough shove, trying to jostle her awake. "Hey!" she yelled, "Hey, wake up! Uh…Your Highness…" There was still no response. The Princess did nothing more than lie on the clouds like a rag doll. Dash leaned in next to her ear. "Heeeeeeeey!!!" she droned directly into the Princess' ear canal. Still nothing.

Dash stood scratching her head for a moment before an idea suddenly came to her. With a quick flap of her wings, she shot off into the sky and returned moments later with a small, light grey cloud in her hooves, about the size of a softball. She held it up, directly over Luna's head, and gave it a tight squeeze.

A small torrent of rain fell out of the cloud, dousing Luna's head. It wasn't much water, less than a full bucket, but Luna's head became sufficiently soaked. Tossing away the expended cloud, Dash silently prayed that what she'd just done wouldn't earn her a one-way ticket to the moon.

For a moment, there was complete silence except for the dripping of water as it rolled off of Luna's face. Then…more silence. Luna still did not budge.

"Ughh…" Dash groaned, "What the hay…?"

She sat thinking for a few more moments, but her brain was fresh out of ideas. She simply sat for a while, utterly stumped as to the solution to this unusual problem. Never in her whole life had she ever thought she'd have to deal with an inebriated, passed-out Princess.

"Oh, boy…" she muttered, "This might be a little more complicated than I thought…"

***

Twilight Sparkle smiled as she delicately placed a tray holding two teacups on the table. The unicorn took a seat across from a yellow pegasus with a pink mane. Fluttershy smiled and thanked her for the beverages before lifting up one of the cups and taking a sip.

"Oh, goodness. That's delicious, Twilight," Fluttershy said in her usual, quiet tone.

Twilight smiled bashfully. "Really? You mean it?"

"Oh yes," Fluttershy nodded, "It's very warm and flavourful. It's very good."

"Ah, good," Twilight said with a slight sigh of relief, "Usually Spike makes the tea. He's so skilled at it, so I wasn't sure if mine would be any good."

Fluttershy took another sip and then asked, "Where is Spike today?"

"Oh, he's over at Rarity's. He's being a pincushion for her again." She chuckled and took a sip.

"Oh my…" Fluttershy's eyes widened slightly, "I know he said he doesn't mind that but…"

"Yeah, but remember, it's Rarity."

"Right…" Fluttershy took another sip, which brought back her smile. "Thanks again for the tea, Twilight."

"You're very welcome, Fluttershy! I'm just glad you like it!"

The two were then suddenly interrupted by a loud knocking.

"Oh!" Twilight perked up in response to the noise. "Excuse me for a moment," she said, standing up.

"I wonder who that could be…" Fluttershy remarked, gazing at the library's front door with curiosity.

"I dunno," Twilight said as she stepped towards the door, and then used her magic to open it up.

"Twilight!!" Rainbow Dash said as she burst through the doorway, stopping just before the unicorn's face, "Thank goodness you're here! I need your help."

As Twilight backed away in surprise from the pegasus' rather sudden entrance, Dash took a look behind her. "Oh!" she said curtly, "Yooou have company over…"

Fluttershy waved her hoof meekly from the table. "Um…Hi Rainbow…"

Twilight, having shaken off her surprise, said, "Rainbow Dash! What is it? What's going on?"

Dash's brain stalled for a moment. "Umm…Uhh…" She stared awkwardly at Fluttershy, who stared back just as awkwardly. "I'm…sorry…I didn't know anypony else was here…" Internally she was panicking. Fluttershy wasn't supposed to be there! This wasn't how her grand, amazing plan was supposed to go.

"Uh," Twilight faltered at the odd response, "Yeah, I invited Fluttershy over to chat and have some tea. Why?"

"Oh! Nothing!" Dash suddenly exclaimed. "I mean, no! It's no problem. Why would it be a problem? It's nothing! It's no big deal!"

The room was filled with silence as the three ponies glanced at one another. Dash's eyes in particular were roaming around in an almost frantic way.

"Sooo…" Twilight said, "What's up?"

"Ummmm…" Dash stalled. She was working her brain as much as she could, but wasn't coming up with very much. Dash was no expert on the matter, but she was pretty sure that a hungover Princess on her doorstep was a very bad thing. The one thing she was sure of was that the less ponies that knew about this, the better. And who better to let know about this than the smartest pony she knew?

"I, uh…I need to tell you something, Twilight."

"Okay," Twilight responded, "What?"

Dash glanced at Fluttershy again. The demure pony hadn't moved or said a word since she had arrived. "Um…If you're having tea with Fluttershy, then…"

"Oh, it's okay," Twilight interrupted, "She doesn't mind. Right Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy only squeaked upon hearing her name.

"It's…kinda important, Twilight," Dash said, gazing intently at Twilight and trying frantically to send some sort of signal with her eyes.

"Okay."

"Like…Really _important_ ," she continued, putting emphasis on the last word and leaning forward slightly.

"Right. What's going on?"

"Y'knoww… _Super_ important? The kind of important that, maybe…" She dropped her voice to a whisper. "…not everypony should hear?"

Twilight's eyes widened. "Oh…" she muttered. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "Right! I gotcha!"

Dash grinned. "Great!"

Twilight turned around and faced her guest. "Fluttershy! I need you to go."

"Wh-what?" the pegasus asked, confused.

"I need you to get our friends! Dash has something that the Elements of Harmony need to hear."

Dash's eyes nearly bulged out of her head. "Whoa!" she said, quickly placing herself in between the two ponies. "Whoa, whoa, no! No, that's…" She turned to face Twilight directly. "That's _not_ what I meant," she said in a blunt tone.

Twilight tilted her head. "Then what _are_ you trying to say, Dash? Honestly, you're acting strange."

"Look, this is really important," Dash stressed.

"Is everything okay?" Twilight asked with genuine concern.

Dash glanced around nervously for a second. "Yeah!" she said, then immediately and silently mouthed the word 'No' to Twilight.

"Then just say it, Dash!"

Dash opened her mouth to reply, but honestly couldn't think of anything else to say. There was clearly no way to convey to Twilight that she wanted to talk to her without Fluttershy being around. She would just have to give up and look for help elsewhere.

_Ding._

"Oh! The cookies are done!" Twilight said with a smile.

"Cookies?" both pegasi exclaimed.

"Yeah! It's a surprise treat, Fluttershy. And for you too, I suppose, Dash!" Twilight grinned at her two friends. "I'll go take them out of the oven."

"Great!" Dash said, appearing at her side in a nanosecond. "I'll go with you! I, uh, I love baking."

Twilight gave her an odd look. "Since when?"

"Since always. Baking makes good stuff and I love good stuff. _C'mon_ ," she said, using her wing to not-so-gently push Twilight towards the kitchen, "Before they get cold."

"Ah! All right, all right Dash. No need to shove."

Moments later, the two had left the silent yellow pegasus behind and were standing in Twilight's kitchen. The unicorn used her magic to twist the dial on the oven, turning it off, and began to make her way towards it. Dash, however, cut her off.

"Okay," she said in a harsh whisper, "What I was _trying_ to tell you was that I have something very important to show you. But only you. It's a secret, and I didn't want anypony else to know about it. Not even Fluttershy."

Twilight blinked. "Really?" she responded, "Boy, I didn't get that at _all_ …"

Dash groaned.

"Well, um, okay…If you say it's really important, I can try to figure something out…"

"It is, Twilight. It's really important, and…well, kinda sorta really bad…"

"Oh dear…"

"Look, I'm sorry for ruining your tea party or whatever, but I kinda need you _immediately_."

Twilight sighed. "All right, Dash. I understand. I can tell how worried you are, so I trust you."

Dash smiled. "Good. Thanks, Twilight."

"All right…Let's try to do this delicately."

As Twilight began to walk out of the room, Dash felt the need to roll her eyes.

Back in the main room of the library, Twilight trotted up to Fluttershy with a frown on her face. "Fluttershy, I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cut this short. I just remembered that I have a really, really important errand that I have to attend to."

"Oh! Oh my, really?" Fluttershy asked, gazing up at her.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot all about it, but we gotta go."

"Yeah," Dash nodded in agreement.

"Um," Fluttershy spoke softly, "You _both_ have to…go…?"

Twilight and Dash shared a quick, furtive glance. "Uhhh," Twilight muttered, "Yeah…We have to…go…do…"

"Weather." Dash interjected.

"Weather?" Fluttershy asked with a tilt of her head.

"Yeah!" Twilight piped up, "I want to go study pegasi magic. Rainbow Dash is gonna do…weather…for me."

Dash chuckled awkwardly. "Heh, c'mon Twilight. Let's not bore Fluttershy with the details. Let's just _go_."

Fluttershy looked to Twilight with a confused gaze. "Um, what about the cookies?" she asked.

"Oh," Twilight stammered, "Uhh, they burnt."

"They burnt?"

"Yeah."

Fluttershy furrowed her brow. "I don't smell anything burning…"

"I, uh, covered up the smell…with magic."

She was met with an astonished look from the pegasus. "Magic can do that?"

"Sure!! Why not?" Dash forcibly butted in, cutting herself in between the two. "Point is, we gotta go! Bye!"

"Oh, but-" Fluttershy attempted to begin talking again.

"See ya!" Dash was once again shoving Twilight forward with her wing towards the door.

"Bye, Flutter-"

_Slam!_

Fluttershy blinked. "Um…bye…?"

***

Twilight sighed in frustration. "Okay, Dash. I came all the way out here, I cast the cloud-walking spell on myself…Can you _please_ tell me what this is all about?"

Dash opened the front door of her home and gestured for Twilight to enter. "I found something on my doorstep this morning…"

Twilight trotted into the house, with Dash following behind and closing the door. She gave the pegasus a look, to which Dash responded with a point of her hoof, directing Twilight into the living room. The two made their way there, whereupon Twilight quickly found the issue.

"Wh-What…?" she murmured.

"That's what I said."

The two ponies stood staring at Dash's couch, which was currently occupied by the unmoving Princess Luna. She was laying haphazardly on the cushions, with one foreleg and one hind leg hanging off the edge, and her muzzle buried between the edges awkwardly.

"Oh my gosh!" Twilight exclaimed, "Princess Luna! I- Is she okay?"

"Suuure, she's fine," Dash said in an overly-upbeat tone, "She's just completely blitzed."

Twilight turned and gave Dash an incredulous look. " _What_?!"

"She's hungover."

"Wh-" Twilight was rapidly turning her head between Dash and Luna, an utterly perplexed look upon her face. "Wh…What is Princess Luna doing on your couch… _hungover_?"

"Well, I didn't want to leave her out on the doorstep."

Twilight blinked. "What was Princess Luna doing on your doorstep hungover?!"

Dash sighed. "I don't know, Twilight. The point is, I found her out there. Clearly the Princess was enjoying herself last night."

Twilight carefully stepped towards Luna, slowly as if she were approaching a ticking bomb. "Oh my gosh…" she muttered, "What do we do? What do we do??"

"I was hoping _you'd_ know, to be honest," Dash replied.

Twilight was now standing directly beside the slumbering Princess, gazing at her like one would look at an artistic masterpiece that had just been vandalized.

"What happened to her wing?" she asked, directing her gaze to Luna's wing. It was scuffed up and the feathers were frayed and messy.

Dash winced. "Oh yeah…That one kinda got caught on the doorframe as I was bringing her in. Luckily she's passed out, 'cus that woulda stung."

Twilight's eyes widened. "You _dragged_ the Princess in? Like, on the ground?!"

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" Dash said indignantly, "I don't have fancy unicorn magic! She's an alicorn! She's heavy!"

Twilight held a hoof up to her head and shut her eyes. "Oh, goodness…" she muttered, "This isn't good…"

"Where's Spike?" Dash asked, "I'll go get him so we can tell Celestia ab-"

" _No!_ " Twilight shouted.

Dash reeled back. "Whoa, Twilight…"

"No Dash, Princess Celestia can't find out about this!" Twilight was now pacing around in a small circle in front of the couch.

"Huh? Why not?"

"Because!" Twilight shouted, as if that were a sufficient enough answer. When Dash gave her a confused look, she groaned and continued. "Think about it Dash! How's it going to sound? 'Oh hey, Princess! How's it going? Your sister went _binge drinking_ last night and passed out on my friend's porch. Can you please come pick her up?'" Twilight frowned at Dash. "We can't do that to Luna."

"But…"

"She only reunited with Princess Celestia just under a year ago. They're still reconnecting, Dash. They're trying to be friends again. This would just ruin everything!"

Dash was silent for a moment. "Maybe you're right…" she said softly.

"So we'll have to think of something else," Twilight said determinedly.

"Like what?"

"We have to try to make her better…" Twilight muttered as she continued to pace, "We can fix this. I know we can fix this. How can you cure a hangover…?"

Dash chuckled wryly. "Oh man, I _wish_ I knew the answer to that question…"

Twilight gave her a look.

"What?" she said defensively, "It's not like I've never been in that position before." She waved a hoof in Luna's direction. "I like to have fun, Twilight. Don't you?"

Twilight rolled her eyes and said, "No."

"Wait…You've _never_ had a drink?"

"Nope."

"Seriously?? Wow, Twilight…" she said, chuckling.

Twilight groaned in frustration. "Well, since _you_ seem to be the expert, you tell me what we should do."

Dash shook her head, still laughing softly. "I dunno, Twilight. You can't do much except wait. It's the price you pay for having too much…fun. Heh…Usually worth it though."

Twilight groaned again. "And this is why…" she muttered, "I will never touch a drop of alcohol in my life. I'm so sick of dealing with this."

"Aw, c'mon Twi! It's fun! You should-" Dash cut herself off, perking her ears up. "Wait. What do you mean, 'sick of dealing with this'?"

"When I was at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, I had roommates," Twilight explained, "I was enrolled there for a long time. Eventually my roommates got older and started going out drinking and partying. There were _way_ too many times I'd be trying to stay up, having a late-night study session, when those drunken idiots would barge into the room and start being loud and obnoxious. And then the next day? They'd all be hung over and whining about how awful they felt."

Twilight grumbled under her breath. "It was always _my_ job to take care of their stupid…Making them food, getting them ice…Eventually I got so sick of it, I-" Twilight suddenly gasped loudly. "Oh my gosh! That's it!" she exclaimed, reeling around to face Dash. "I've got it!!"

"What? What is it?"

"My Hangover Elixir! I forgot all about it!"

Dash tilted her head. "Huh? 'Hangover Elixir'? What's that?"

Twilight had begun pacing again, but this time she was upbeat and excited. "It's something I came up with in my later years of school! I got so tired of my idiot roommates coming home drunk that I came up with a mixture, a potion of sorts, that fixes their hangovers."

Dash merely stared at her for a few seconds. "You're kidding."

"Eventually I moved into my own room next to the library and didn't have roommates any more. Then I moved to Ponyville and made friends. I completely forgot about it. I'm pretty sure I still have the recipe in with all my school stuff."

"Wait a minute," Dash interjected, trotting up next to Twilight and stopping her pacing, "You're telling me you came up with a _cure_ for hangovers?!"

"Yeah," Twilight said with a shrug, "I just did it in my spare time. It's nothing perfect, but it gets the job done."

"' _In your spare time_ '??"

"Well yeah. I studied magic, not alchemy. It was just something I came up with one month."

Dash's mouth hung open uselessly for a few moments before she just shook her head. "Y'know, Twi…" she muttered, "That would've been real nice to know for all the times _I_ had a hangover…"

Twilight chuckled demurely. "Sorry Dash. Like I said, I forgot about it. And what do you mean? I've never seen you drunk."

Dash glanced away. "That's 'cus I try not to let my friends see me unless they're out drinking with me. When I was younger, I used to do stupid things while I was blitzed and I lost a couple friends."

Twilight frowned. "Aww, I'm sorry, Dash…"

Dash shook her head. "Nevermind. It doesn't matter. So, you're saying we can cure Luna?"

"Yeah, I think so…" Twilight said. She sat down and scratched her head. "But how are we gonna get her to the library…?"

"Huh? The Library? What do you mean? Just make it here."

"No, I can't, Dash. The cauldron is really heavy. It'd be way too hard to get all the way up here."

Dash was now utterly perplexed. "Huh??"

Twilight turned to face Dash. "The potion isn't something you drink, Dash. Have you ever tried to get a hungover pony to drink something? Doesn't really work. No, you have to splash the elixir all over the patient for it to take effect. I can just barely lift that thing and tip it over with my magic. I can't carry it all the way up here, and it's way too heavy for anypony to carry without magic, even you Dash."

"Well…" Dash muttered, trying to understand, "Can't you just make it at the library and then put it in something? Y'know, to bring up here?"

Twilight shook her head. "I tried that once. I wanted to put a bunch in little bottles so I could store it for later. But when it got separated into smaller amounts like that, it all dissipated. Even when I put it all back together in the cauldron, it didn't work any more."

Dash was giving her a look that was completely lost.

"Alchemy is weird," Twilight said simply, "Why do you think I never practiced it? No, this one thing was all I ever knew how to do."

"So wait a minute," Dash said, holding a hoof to her head, "Are you telling me that we need to somehow transport a very heavy, very cumbersome alicorn Princess… _off_ this cloud… _through_ town…without _anypony_ seeing her?!"

Twilight sighed. "Yup…"

" _How_ are we supposed to do that?!"

Twilight chuckled awkwardly. "Well, Dash…That's probably going to be a challenge," she said, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof. "But hey!" she perked up, "You like challenges, don't you?"

Dash could only groan and facehoof.

***

"Twilight, this is _not_ going to work."

"It'll be fine, Dash! You can do it!"

Dash was looking down from her cloud house at Twilight, who stood on the ground directly below, looking up at her. Beside her was something inconspicuously covered by a brown tarp that Dash had found in her closet. It was only vaguely princess-shaped.

"She's gonna get hurt!" Dash called down.

"Do you have any better ideas?" Twilight called back up.

Dash paused for a moment to think. "Well…"

"Don't worry, Rainbow! I'll be right down here, ready! Just lift her up and bring her down! I know she's heavier than the average pony, but I'll be here to slow you down with my magic! Trust me, it'll be fine!"

Dash glanced at the tarp and winced. To her, this had 'bad idea' written all over it. But, Twilight did have a point; she didn't have any better ideas.

"All right…" she said uncertainly, "You make sure you're ready!"

"I'm ready, Dash!"

Dash took a deep breath. "Okay…" she muttered to herself.

She flapped her wings and began to hover in the air. Manoeuvring herself directly over the covered princess, she carefully reached down and hooked her hooves around the Princess' midsection. She beat her wings quickly and began to lift her off the ground.

Dash's eyes popped out and she strained for breath. There was no beating around the idea, Princess Luna was _heavy_. The two alicorn princesses were simply larger than the average pony, and a larger weight came along with that. Dash was eternally grateful that Luna was passed out and couldn't hear the two of them calling her 'heavy'.

She raised the Princess up as far as she felt she could, and began to transport her over the edge of the clouds. For a moment, Luna's hooves dragged along the cloudy floor, but soon they were hanging over nothing.

Dash's strength was nearly gone already. She could fly fast, had excellent stamina, and amazing agility, but she had never been any good at heavy lifting.

She looked down and saw that the clouds were no longer beneath her. A brief spike of panic shot through her as she worried about the well-being of her precious cargo, but she fought it off and began to descend. It wasn't very difficult to move down; gravity made sure of that. The trick was controlling her descent into something that wasn't dangerous.

This was a lot harder than she expected it to be.

She let out strained breaths as she tried to keep her descent speed under control, but her heavy companion was dragging her down. She beat her wings as hard as she could, but they quickly began to cramp up and give out on her. She gave one last burst of energy to try to save herself, but it was no good.

"Gaaaahhh!!" she cried out as she began to fall. For a brief moment, she went over in her mind what horrible, terrible punishments she'd have to face for dropping the Princess. She calculated how many years she'd be spending on the moon, and came up with a number much longer than any pony's lifespan.

Then Twilight caught her with her magic.

Dash felt both herself and Luna slowly being lowered onto the ground. After she'd caught her breath and put her heart back in her chest where it belonged, she looked up and saw Twilight panting, her horn still dimly glowing.

"There…" she said through heavy breaths, "Told you I'd catch you…"

Dash simply stared at her for a moment. Then she smiled. Slowly, she began to chuckle, and then laugh. Twilight joined in, and the two shared a cheerful laugh for a few moments.

"Oh man…" Dash said after she'd calmed down, "Thanks, Twilight. You were right. I shoulda trusted you."

Twilight winked at her. "No problem. Just remember, we're not out of the woods yet."

Dash's mind once again focused on the mission at hoof. "Right," she muttered, "Good thing nopony was around to see that."

"Yeah, but let's not hang around for too long. Let's go."

The two ponies then proceeded to lift Luna up onto their backs, combining their strength to support her larger weight. Dash found she was much easier to carry with Twilight's assistance. Luna's legs dangled below, but the brown tarp covered them up quite well. Still, however, Dash couldn't shake the feeling that they looked way too conspicuous.

"C'mon, let's go." Twilight said.

The two then made their way into the heart of Ponyville. Unfortunately, the most direct route from Dash's could house to the library was directly through the market square. The two planned to stay to the sides and away from the hustle and bustle as much as they could, but the task still appeared daunting to the both of them.

The mission, however, was clear in Dash's mind. Nopony could be allowed to see the hungover Princess Luna. Absolutely nopony. That would be an embarrassment on a national level.

The two travelled as quickly as they could with their heavy cargo, and soon enough found themselves at the entryway to the market square. They could see the imposing structure of the tree that housed the library in the distance, directly past the market and down a street.

The market, however, was heavily packed with ponies selling their wares, and customers browsing them. It was almost noon, and the marketplace was approaching its busiest time of the day. A plethora of multicoloured ponies of all kinds were moving back and forth between the stalls. Dash estimated that there were at least 60 ponies in the square. A few familiar ponies waved to them and gave them enquiring looks, but most had enough respect for others' business to do no more.

The intrepid duo carefully made their way around the perimeter of the marketplace, moving as quickly as they could while carrying the Princess, but being cautious so as not to drop her or let the tarp slide off. Even the outskirts were mildly packed with ponies, forcing them to manoeuvre past others and politely excuse their way through.

Carrying things was back-breaking labour, and was something Dash preferred to avoid if at all possible. If anything, she preferred to transport things by flying and using her hooves or ropes. Hauling things around 'the earth pony way' just hurt her back and soured her mood. She made no effort to stifle her groans of protest, but pushed forward towards her goal.

The two passed the halfway mark of their journey around the marketplace. Some ponies were giving them especially odd looks, but they did their best to ignore them.

"Hello!" a pink pony with a green mane said as she trotted over to them, "Wow, what's that?"

"Oh," Twilight grunted, her voice coming out strained from the exertion she was going through, "Hi Daisy."

"It's nothing," Dash said, quickly and to the point.

"It look heavy…" Daisy murmured.

"Yeah…" Twilight said with a nod, "It's quite heavy."

"Why are you carrying it?"

"We're taking it to the library."

"Why? What is it?"

"It's nothing!" Dash repeated, a little more forcefully this time, "We're kinda busy here, Daisy…"

"Aw, c'mon!" Daisy implored, "You can tell me!"

Twilight gave an apologetic smile. "Look, Daisy. We'd love to stay and chat, but this thing is heavy and we need to get it off of our backs as soon as we can. So…We gotta go. Bye!"

"Oh!" Daisy's ears perked up. "Oh, right! I'm sorry! That must be pretty heavy! Sorry about that, you two!"

"Yeah, _bye!!_ " Dash said in irritation.

The two quickly began to trot off, Dash not caring if they were being impolite.

_Okay,_ Dash thought, _So far, so good. Nopony can see her. This is going fine. We're three quarters of the way there. Almost home free. We can't screw up now. We can't drop an inebriated Princess in the Market Square. That would be very bad._

The market's exit appeared before them. Twilight quickly glanced back and gave Dash an optimistic grin and the two quickly made their way towards it. The excitement Dash felt grew twofold. _We're gonna make it!_

"Howdy y'all!"

The two ponies froze as, fittingly, their hearts turned to ice. Slowly, they glanced around behind them and saw a very familiar orange pony in a Stetson hat galloping towards them, a huge smile on her face.

"Ah…" Twilight chuckled nervously, "Hi Applejack…"

"Fancy meetin' you out here!" She cantered up to them and came to a stop. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the covered object they were carrying. "What's all this?"

"Ohhh, it's nothing special," Twilight muttered, "We're just taking it to the library. Nothing important or interesting."

"Yup," Dash helpfully added.

"Well dang," Applejack responded, "It's pretty big fer 'nothin' special'…" She took a step forward and leaned in close to it. "What is it?" she repeated.

"Nothing!" Dash shouted, and then immediately gave herself a mental buck for such an outburst. "I mean…nothing. It's just some boring old library thing. Some _heavy_ boring old library thing, so…if you don't mind, we need to go. Sorry, we'd love to stay and chat, but-"

"Well, shoot! I'll help y'all!" Applejack said with a friendly smile.

Twilight and Dash shot each other a glance. "What?" Twilight asked.

"Looks like y'all could use a helpin' hoof haulin' that thing around, so I'll help ya. Three strong ponies is better'n two, y'know. Gets the job done quicker and makes yer back hurt less." She punctuated her comment with a wink.

"Uhhhh…" Dash droned out, desperately trying to come up with an excuse, "No thanks, Applejack. We, uh…We…"

"We've got this," Twilight said. She tried her best to give Applejack a genuine smile.

"Uh…" Applejack frowned. "It don't _look_ like ya got this…"

Twilight and Dash glanced at each other again. Neither was doing much to hide the fact that they were working very hard to support the weight of what was on their backs. It wasn't exactly killing them, but the effort being expended was still clearly visible.

"Nah, we're fine…" Dash said, trying to sound casual, "We don't wanna bother you. You've probably got your stand set up today, right?"

"Nnnnope!" Applejack replied with a proud smile, "Apple Bloom's handlin' the stand today. I know she messed it up pretty bad last time, but the filly's gotta learn some time, don't she? The only way ta learn is ta keep tryin'."

"Ah!" Twilight suddenly perked up. Dash could almost see the lightbulb appear above her head. "Yes, Applejack! I completely agree. That's why Dash and I are carrying this! I was never any good at manually carrying things; I always use my magic. So I thought it would be good exercise to try things out myself."

"Oh?" Applejack said, a hint of confusion in her voice.

Twilight quickly realized where she'd made her error. "Uhm," she stammered, "Rainbow Dash is here because, um…I'm not ready to do it all on my own yet. I don't wanna hurt myself, heh…So, she's helping me get a slow start, and then soon enough I'll be able to do it on my own!"

_Good grief…_ Dash's thoughts were screaming at her. _Enough standing around yapping! My legs are dying!_

"I see…" Applejack said with a nod, "That's good on ya ta practise things like that, Twi. No offense, but unicorns kinda have a bad reputation a' bein' lazy and usin' their magic for everythin'. It's good ta see some earth pony values in ya, sugarcube."

Twilight smiled. Dash could clearly see the strain of the weight seeping into her expression more and more. "Yup! Thanks, AJ. So…I'm gonna go then."

"Now hang on a minute,"

Dash groaned out loud. _What now?!_

"What exactly are ya carryin' there, y'all?" Applejack asked, taking another step towards the tarp.

Dash and Twilight took a step away in response. "Nothing much," Twilight muttered, "Just some stuff I had lying around. We put it in a bag."

"A bag?" Applejack asked, arching her eyebrow, "Well shoot, Twi. That's fine an' all, but y'all carry saddlebags all the time. If ya wanna build up yer carryin' strength, ya gotta carry somethin' more unorthodox. Somethin' like a box or slabs a' wood."

"Heh…" Twilight murmured nervously, "I guess you're right. Silly me. I'll remember that next time."

"Well, if yer carryin' stuff around in a bag, lemme have a look. I can arrange it so it'll give ya-"

"No!" Twilight half-exclaimed, taking another step back, "No, that's quite all right. Uh…This is my challenge, so…I wanna do it all on my own." There was a moment of silence before she quickly added, "Uh, with Rainbow Dash, I mean."

Applejack stared at the two for a moment. "Y'all are actin' a little strange."

Dash could almost see the sweat pouring off Twilight's face, and it wasn't from carrying. "Strange?" Twilight asked, "I guess I'm just a little out of breath."

"Y'all ain't overworkin' yerselves, are ya?"

"No, no. I'm fine. It's my goal to get back to the library, so that's where I'll go! I'll make it there!"

"Maybe y'all should-"

"Hey!" Dash suddenly shouted. The two others turned and looked at her. "This is really heavy and I'm getting tired standing around. Can we at least put her do- Uh…Can we put 'er down? Please?"

Dash didn't wait for an answer. She began to lean down in preparation for offloading the heavy cargo from her back.

"Ah, Dash! Careful!" Twilight shouted in a slightly panicky voice, "Watch the tarp! Don't let it…Uh…"

"Don't worry about the tarp," Dash muttered.

"Yeah, what's the tarp fer anyway?" Applejack enquired.

"Uhhh…" Twilight said. As Dash leaned down, their load became unbalanced, so Twilight was forced to lean down as well. "It's so, uh…It's for…Umm…" Twilight gazed at Dash imploringly, but all she could do was shrug.

"Twi?" Applejack pushed.

"It's…uh…" Twilight's eyes darted around frantically, "It's a tarp…Because…uh…we wanna keep it…warm…?"

Dash made no effort to hide her facehoof.

Applejack was giving her a very skeptical look. "I, uh…" she muttered, clearly perplexed, "I beg yer pardon?"

"Yeah!" Twilight said, putting on more confidence but breaking eye contact with Applejack, "Keep it warm. Pretty self explanatory!"

Dash was resigned to just shaking her head now.

"Just what the hey kinda thing are y'all usin'…usin' for exercise, mind ya…that requires it to be kept warm?" Applejack was now staring intently at Twilight. "And _why_ won't y'all let me look at it?"

"Well, it's quite simple!" Twilight responded, "You see-"

"UGH! Enough!!!" Dash shouted, drawing in awkward glances from a few passers-by, not to mention Applejack and Twilight. She sighed and looked at the unicorn. "Look, stop it. This is just painful to watch."

"Eh heh…" Twilight nervously chuckled, "Whatever do you mean, Rainbow?"

"Just stop. Applejack is the Element of Honesty. You can't lie to her. It's just not possible."

"I-" Twilight went wide-eyed, casting a nervous glance at Applejack. "I- I-"

"There's no point in hiding it from her," she continued, turning to gaze at Applejack, "So let's just get her to help carry this, get her to the library, and we can explain once we get there."

Twilight kept looking from Dash to Applejack, the latter of which had one eyebrow raised in a very confounded expression. Finally, she sighed in defeat. "Fine," she said, dropping her voice to a whisper, "AJ, help us carry this. But you have to promise us. No matter _what_ you find underneath here, you don't say anything, you don't even react in any way, until we get to the library. Once we're there, I promise I'll fill you in."

"Uhhh…" Applejack muttered, clearly at a loss, "All ri', I guess so…"

Dash smiled to herself. She had known for sure that they could trust Applejack with this little scandal. Perhaps with her help, they could find a solution faster.

"All right, c'mon. We've gotta move," Twilight said, beginning to stand up. Dash followed her and stood up also. The two cleared a space in between them for Applejack to move in, under the tarped object, and help them carry. Applejack did just this, positioning herself comfortably between them, and soon enough they were off once again towards the library.

Dash had to compliment Applejack. She noticed that she didn't take any peeks under the tarp. She saw her eyes widen slightly when the weight of what they were carrying rested on her back, and Dash could guess that she was feeling Luna's fur. Either way, the earth pony was keeping quiet and covert as they continued on their way.

***

A couple minutes later, the trio were trotting up to the front door of the Ponyville Library, and Twilight Sparkle's home. Dash sighed in relief, knowing that this gruelling task was almost over. Her back was really beginning to ache but, like the athlete she was, she pushed through it.

Twilight sighed as well. "Okay, here we are," she said as she used her magic to open the door. Dash was thankful for that. She didn't want to think about what they would've had to do if none of them were a unicorn.

The three carefully manoeuvred their way through the door and stepped into the main room.

Twilight gasped. "Fluttershy?!"

Fluttershy, sitting at the table, turned to them and also gasped.

Twilight and Dash stared at her, dumbfounded. "Fluttershy, what are you still doing here??" Twilight shouted.

Fluttershy winced from the volume of her voice. "Ah…Um…You- You didn't tell me to leave…um, I didn't know if…you wanted…" Her voice drifted off into quiet mumbles.

"I've been gone for more than an hour!"

Fluttershy shrunk back. "Umm…sorry…" she murmured in a barely audible voice.

Twilight groaned and shook her head. "Fluttershy…" she heaved in a sighing voice, "I'm sorry if I wasn't clear, okay? I'm not mad at you or anything, but when somepony le-"

"Twilight!" Dash interrupted. "Down? _Please_!"

The unicorn's eyes shot open, as if she were suddenly once again aware of the heavy weight on her back. "Ah! Right, of course…"

The three ponies proceeded to carefully lower themselves down and unload Luna, who remained hidden beneath the tarp. Fluttershy's curiosity seemed to overcome her bashfulness as she stared at the tarp in wonder. "Wh-what's that?"

"Nothing!" Twilight quickly perked up, "Uh…It's, uh…"

"Yeah, Twi," Applejack said, "We're here, so are y'gonna explain just what the hay's goin' on?"

"But, uh…" Twilight muttered, casting an unsure glance at Fluttershy, who had stood up from the table and was slowly approaching.

Dash could see Twilight sweating and she sighed. "C'mon, Twilight. This is ridiculous. We can tell Fluttershy too. I'm sure she'd be happy to help."

Twilight shot Dash a look like she'd just blurted out a secret from her diary or something. "Dash!"

"Tell me what?" Fluttershy asked, her voice filled with innocence. She gazed at Twilight with a worried expression. "I- Is something wrong?"

"Twi…?" Applejack prodded.

Twilight gave one last desperate glance to Dash before she sighed in resignation. " _Fine…_ " she groaned, "but _no_ pony else can know about this. What I tell you two can _not_ leave this library. Okay?"

She turned and gave Fluttershy an intense stare that could one day think about equalling an eighth of the strength of _The Stare_ …if it practiced. Still, it made Fluttershy shrink back. "Umm…Okay…" she murmured.

Twilight turned to Applejack. "Well, I ain't no good at lyin' or nothin', but I'll give ya my word that I'll do mah best."

"All right," Twilight said. Dash could see her muscles relax, and it looked like a great load had been taken off her back; greater than the heavy Princess they had just been hauling around. "This is the situation we're dealing with here…" she said before grabbing the tarp with her magic and lifting it off.

Fluttershy gasped and held her forehooves to her mouth.

"Whoa nelly…" Applejack muttered.

"Rainbow Dash found her on her doorstep this morning," Twilight explained.

"Is…Is she okay…?" Fluttershy said, taking cautious steps towards Luna as if she were approaching a sleeping lion.

"Yeah, she's fine," Dash muttered, "She's just drunk."

"Rainbow!" Twilight shouted in a scolding tone.

"What?" Dash replied defensively, "She is!"

"Drunk…?" Applejack said disbelievingly, "The Princess a' the night is hungover?"

"Yup," Dash said with a nod.

"Are ya sure?"

"Trust me. I'm positive she's drunk."

"How can ya be so sure though?"

Dash groaned in frustration. "Look, I've been in her position a few times, all right? I've had my share of hangovers. I know what it feels like, and I can tell that she's hungover. _All right_?!"

"Okay, okay Dash. Ah'm sorry," Applejack replied, "Ah didn't mean ta offend ya."

"Why do you think I want to try your cider so badly?"

Applejack tilted her head. "Whaddaya mean? Our cider ain't alcoholic."

Dash blinked. "Wh- It _isn't_?"

"Nnnope."

"But it's called _cider_."

"So?"

"But-"

" _Girls!_ " Twilight exclaimed harshly, "Can we please focus? We have a situation here…"

"Oh my goodness…" Fluttershy said, "Will she be okay?"

Twilight sighed, her stress clearly evident. "She'll be fine. We just need to help her, okay?"

"Golly…" Applejack muttered, "A drunken Princess appears on yer doorstep. That's definitely a new one…"

"You're tellin' me…" Dash replied.

"Ya tried wakin' her up?"

"Yeah, she won't budge."

"Dang…" Applejack cast a glance at the slumbering Princess, "I never thought Luna'd be the type ta party…"

"Ughhh…" Twilight was busy rubbing her temples.

"Have ya told Princess Celestia yet?" Applejack asked her.

"No!" Twilight exclaimed, "Are you crazy?! Princess Celestia would be _so_ upset if she found out about this! She'll be so mad at Luna!"

"Yeah, but she deserves t' know, don't she?"

"We can't, Applejack! That'd be like tattling! We can't do that to Luna!"

Fluttershy gasped lightly. "Twilight, are you asking us to keep secrets from the Princess?"

"I-" Twilight started, then cut herself off. She flummoxed for a second, moving her mouth uselessly. "I…I don't know…I just…I don't think it would be right."

"Twi…" Applejack said, her tone sounding almost motherly.

"We can't just _condemn_ Luna to punishment like that! That would be mean! I mean, she didn't really do much wrong. Nopony got hurt or anything, as far as we know…"

"But Twi, I still think she deserves to _know_. Luna's her sister after all."

Twilight frowned and splayed her ears. She cast a glance down at Luna. There was silence for a moment before Twilight said in a determined voice, "No. No, it's going to be just fine."

"Twi…" Applejack repeated.

"No, don't worry Applejack! It's okay! I can fix this."

This caught Applejack off guard. "Wh- Ya can _fix_ this? Whaddaya mean?"

Twilight flashed a brilliant smile. "Hangover cure! I'm gonna brew it up right now!"

"Huh? Hangover cure? Brew?"

"Yeah! It's a potion sort of." Twilight dashed off to a closet near the back of the library while still talking. "Invented it myself. College roommates, drunk idiots, needed a solution, yadda yadda. It's kind of a pain in the flank to prepare, but it's never failed me yet!" Twilight then lit up her horn with an especially bright glow that illuminated the room. She began stepping back slowly, straining as she telekinetically moved a heavy-looking black cauldron from inside the closet.

"Are you serious…?" Applejack said, furrowing her brow.

"Of course I am!" Twilight grunted as she slowly moved the cauldron to the middle of the room, "And if you three help me out, I'll have it done in no time!"

Dash was watching the two's dialogue with mild amusement. "Dang, you're right…" Dash muttered, "That _is_ a big, heavy cauldron."

Finally, Twilight managed to get the cauldron to the center of the room. She heaved a heavy breath of relief. "Yeah…" she wheezed, " _Real_ heavy…"

"So yer gonna cook up some gypsy magic or somethin' in that pot that's gonna fix Luna and wake'er up?" Applejack asked skeptically.

"It's not 'gypsy magic', Applejack. It's just alchemy."

"Seems like witchcraft ta me…"

"Don't be silly, Applejack. I deal with friendship, not witchcraft."

Applejack gave a resigned sigh. "Are y'all sure ya don't just wanna tell Princess Celestia? Ah'm sure she could take care a' Luna a lot better'n us…"

" _No_ ," Twilight said dismissively.

"An' it'd be a lot simpler."

"No, Applejack. We're going to at least try this, okay? Trust me! This'll all work out!"

Applejack stared at her in silence for a moment before she sighed in resignation. "All right, Twi. I'll help ya out."

Twilight grinned. "Excellent!"

"I'm in too, Twilight. Tell me what ya need!"

"Mostly I need the ingredients," Twilight said as she lit up her horn and removed a particular book from a pile next to the couch. She opened it up, revealing a multitude of incredibly complex notes and diagrams.

"What's that?" Dash asked, perplexed by what she saw.

"College scratchpad," Twilight responded plainly.

"Wow…" Dash muttered, "Somehow, I'm not surprised."

Twilight flipped through a few pages before she found what she was looking for. "Aha! Here it is! 'Hangover cure'. Ah, this takes me back…"

"All right, what are the ingredients?"

"Applejack, you're the strongest at carrying things. I want you to go out and get a whole barrel of water. I need to fill this thing up, and it's too hard to use the faucet."

"All ri', Twi. Shouldn't be a probl'm…"

"Dash, I don't have any milk thistle, so go get me some. They sell it at the health food store. Buy two packets."

Dash arched an eyebrow. "Milk thistle?"

"Yeah."

"I've never even heard of that." She merely shrugged, however, and turned towards the door. Applejack followed her.

"Um, excuse me…" came a demure, quiet voice. Everypony jumped slightly, having almost forgotten Fluttershy was even there.

"Oh! Sorry, Fluttershy," Twilight apologized, "I got so focused."

"Um…What do you want me to do?"

Twilight gave her an odd look. "You want to help?"

Fluttershy blushed and looked away. "Um…Yes…"

"Heh, well okay," Twilight said with a smile, "Help me gather the other ingredients from my kitchen, okay?"

"Oh…Okay, Twilight."

Dash stared at Fluttershy for a few moments before shaking her head. "All right, I'm outta here," she announced, "I'll be back soon!" And then, she was out the door.

  


***

  


Dash was gazing in wonder at the volatile, bubbling liquid inside of the cauldron. It was glowing a dim purple, matching the glow of Twilight's horn, and a few shades and colours swirled around in the mostly-green muck. Twilight couldn't tell if Dash was amazed or grossed out. Perhaps both.

The cauldron wasn't on top of any fire and wasn't being heated in any way. Twilight had tried to explain why to Dash and the others, but she had been met with blank stares. She had shrugged and given the simpler explanation of, 'Cooking with magic', which seemed to satisfy everypony.

"Is it done yet?" Dash asked.

Twilight sighed. "Almost, Dash. Asking me that eleven thousand times won't make it go any faster."

"Um…She only asked you ten times," Fluttershy muttered, "not eleven thousand…"

Twilight was about to respond to that when Applejack cut in. "She's still completely out of it, ain't she…?" she asked, gazing down at Luna, who was still resting on a rug Twilight had dragged out and placed her upon.

"Yeah…" Dash muttered, averting her gaze from the bubbly potion to look at the immobile princess, "She's been out for a long time, and nothing we do wakes her up…"

"What the hey was she drinkin'…?" Applejack pondered, "Chloroform?"

Dash turned to her and furrowed her brow. "Clara-who?"

"Chloroform. It's a drug they use in the hospital ta make ya fall asleep."

Dash blinked. "And how do you know about this?"

Applejack shrugged. "I dunno. I jus' know about it. Why?"

"Well, it's just a little odd to hear something like that from you…"

Applejack stood up suddenly. "Are you sayin' I ain't smart, pardner?"

Dash held up her hooves defensively. "Whoa, whoa! No! I'm not saying anything-"

"I may not be good at math, but I do know stuff, RD!"

"Okay, okay! Chill!"

"Yes," Twilight concurred, "Please let me concentrate."

Applejack let out a breath and sat down. "Ri'. Sorry Twilight."

"I'm sorry Applejack. I didn't mean to offend you," Dash apologized, offering a smile.

"Ah…S'all ri', sugarcube. No harm done."

Dash cleared her throat. "Right. Anyway, yeah. Luna's really out. I'm kinda surprised she hasn't woken up yet…"

"I hope she's all right…" Fluttershy murmured, nearly inaudible to anypony else.

"She's fine," Dash said, "I've been in her place before a couple times."

"That so?" Applejack replied, arching an eyebrow.

"Heh," Dash muttered, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof, "Yeah, I've drunk so much that nopony could wake me up the next morning. Heh heh…It happens…"

"I dunno," Applejack said as she returned her gaze to the slumbering Princess, "Ah've had mah fair share a' drinks, but I ain't never got to this state."

Dash chuckled. "Then you haven't spent a night out with me."

"And I'll make sure ta keep it that way."

Her remark only made Dash keep laughing.

"Ah certainly never drank so much ah passed out…Have you, Twi?"

Twilight shook her head. "No, Applejack. I've never drunk alcohol."

"Get outta here! Really?"

"Nope."

"Wow…" Applejack grinned. "Good on ya, Twi."

Twilight sighed and tried to keep her focus on the brew. She still needed to guide a steady flow of magic through the concoction for it to have the desired effect, though she was pretty sure it was almost done.

"I'm really worried about her," Fluttershy said as she trotted over, sitting herself down near Luna's head.

"Like I said, she's fine," Dash said reassuringly, "Trust me, I know."

"Yeah, it sounds like yer the expert on gettin' wasted…" Applejack muttered, a hint of disdain in her voice.

"Hey…"

"This never happened to me, thank goodness…" Fluttershy murmured.

It took a moment for what Fluttershy said to register in the others' brains. Instantly, three sets of eyes were on her. "What?!" three voices exclaimed.

Fluttershy squeaked and fell back in surprise from the sudden outburst.

"Fluttershy, you drink??" Dash asked, incredulous.

"Umm…" Fluttershy spoke quietly, looking out from her hiding place behind her mane, "Just a little bit…"

"Really??"

"Um…N-not with anypony else or anything. Just…just at home by myself at night…and hardly anything at all. It, um…It's usually wine."

Dash was shaking her head and smiling. "Wow, Fluttershy!" she said with a laugh, "I never… _ever_ …expected you of all ponies…"

Fluttershy hid herself further behind her mane. "A couple times I…had too much…Thank goodness nopony was there…But I never ever drunk so much that I couldn't wake up…" She turned and looked at Luna again. "So it's kind of scary to see her like this…"

"Okay," Dash said, looking directly at Fluttershy, "I have _got_ to see you drunk."

"Rainbow!" Applejack scolded.

"What?" Dash said with a chuckle, "C'mon! You can't tell me you don't wanna know what she's like when she's had a few!"

Fluttershy frowned and laid down on the floor, trying to make herself as small as possible.

"It don't matter, that was _rude_!" Applejack retorted.

"Aw, come on…"

"Okay!" Twilight suddenly spoke up, catching everypony's attention, "It's done!" The magic aura disappeared from her horn and the mixture in the cauldron stopped glowing and turned to a sickly green colour. It stopped bubbling and settled into a fairly translucent liquid that could best be described as 'murky'.

The three ponies trotted over and gazed at it. Dash turned up her nose and stuck out her tongue. "Yeck…Looks like puke…"

"Well, at least it don't smell…" Applejack commented.

"Oh my…Will this really cure Luna?" Fluttershy asked.

Twilight grinned confidently. "Positive!" she proclaimed, "It's never failed me yet."

Dash scratched her head. "So we're really gonna dump this whole thing all over Luna? Really? Are you sure that's not, like, illegal or something?"

"Ain't that gonna make a big huge mess?" Applejack asked.

Twilight shrugged. "It gets a little messy, but it mostly returns to water and evaporates anyway. It's nothing a mop can't handle."

"If you say so…" Applejack muttered.

"Okay. Bring her over next to the cauldron, girls. Put her right there." She punctuated her command with a point of her hoof. The other three began dragging the rug beneath Luna, moving her gently across the floor until she rested in the spot Twilight had indicated.

"All right, this is the hardest part," she continued, "Tipping this heavy thing is not easy. But, with Ponyville's two strongest ponies helping me out, it shouldn't be too hard."

Her compliment had a positive effect on Dash, making her grin proudly, but Applejack instead said, "Are y'all _sure_ ya wanna do this? Twi, are ya _sure_ this is a good idea?"

"Yes, Applejack!" Twilight responded, "Like I told you, this has always worked before. Don't worry! Luna's gonna wake up feeling fine, if a little bit wet."

Applejack sighed in acceptance. "Al ri'…Let's do this then."

The four ponies then worked together to carefully tip the cauldron over. Twilight used her magic to ease two of the legs up off the ground while Applejack pushed and the two pegasi lifted with their wings. It took a lot of effort and strength, but little by little the cauldron began to tip.

Finally, with one concentrated push from all four, the cauldron fell on its side. The green liquid came cascading out all at once, splashing onto Luna and utterly soaking her. In a single moment, her fur was matted, her mane was slick and messy, and liquid was dripping all around her and pooling beneath her. Her whole body, as well as the rug she was upon, were utterly soaked.

Fluttershy gasped, Applejack and Dash winced, while Twilight simply watched. They stood still and silent for a moment, waiting for the effects to become apparent.

They stood for a few seconds.

They stared for a minute.

They glanced at each other nervously as another minute passed.

"Uh, Twi…?" Applejack said slowly, "Nothin's happenin'…"

"How long is this thing supposed to take?" Dash asked.

Twilight continued staring at Luna, her brain trying to make sense of what she was seeing. "I-I don't know," she murmured, "It's supposed to happen right away. She should be awake, or at least stirring…" She sat on her haunches and scratched her head. "This has never happened before…"

"Wh- Are you serious?" Dash exclaimed, "It didn't work?!"

"I don't understand why…" Twilight said, "It's always worked before. Every single time I used it…"

"Well…" Applejack said plainly, "Didn't work this time…"

Twilight was already beginning to panic. "Oh boy, oh boy…Now what?"

"Twilight, what're we supposed to do now? Why didn't it work?" Dash said, fluttering in midair in front of her.

"I don't know!" Twilight snapped, "It's supposed to work! I used it for years in college! Unicorns, pegasi, earth ponies…It worked on all- Oh!" Twilight's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh my gosh, that must be it!" she proclaimed.

"What?" Dash asked.

"Oh my goodness, why didn't I think of this? Oh, I'm such an idiot!" Twilight stood up and began to pace, as she usually did when she was flustered. "Celestia and Luna are immortal alicorns. They're pretty much demigoddesses. Their physiology is a lot more advanced than any normal pony. They're bigger, they have larger wings, they have more powerful magic…Pretty much every part of their body is strengthened in some way, which is in part why they live for so long.

"One part of their body that's strengthened is their livers. It's just like any other part of their body; it's a step above everypony else's. Celestia and Luna can probably drink a whole lot more than any of us could. By the time we would succumb to alcohol poisoning, those two would probably be just starting to get buzzed. Luna must have drank a _ton_ last night.

"That's why she won't wake up. She's dealing with a lot in her system right now." Twilight sighed. "And that's why my cure didn't work. It's just not enough…"

"Aw man…" Dash muttered.

"I guess I really shouldn't be surprised that it didn't work on an alicorn…" Twilight said.

"Well, great," Applejack said with a huff, "So what do y'all plan ta do now?"

"I, uh…I guess we just have to wait for her to wake up," Twilight replied.

"How long could that take?" Dash asked, "You said she drank a whole lot, so she could be out for what? Hours? _Days_?"

"No, not days…" Twilight said reassuringly, "But it could be a while still…"

"Oh dear," Fluttershy said as she trotted over to Luna, carrying a bunch of towels on her back. Twilight hadn't even noticed her retrieve them from the closet. She began drying the Princess off.

"Crap…" Dash muttered, "That sucks."

"I couldn't have put it better myself," Twilight said, gazing at the still-slumbering Princess. Even a full-body soaking hadn't so much as made her shift in the slightest. She was out like a light.

"Okay," Applejack said, trotting over to stand before Twilight, "We tried yer idea. It didn't work. So maybe _now_ 's the time ta let Princess Celestia know?"

"What? No!!" Twilight exclaimed, suddenly rising to her hooves.

"C'mon, Twi! Don't be foolhardy! Princess Celestia needs ta know about this! This is her li'l sister we're talkin' about!"

"But Applejack-"

"I know if Apple Bloom were ta go out and get drunk, I'd wanna know. Sure, I'd be upset…I'd be hotter'n the flames a' Tartarus…but I'd still wanna know. Ya know why, Twi? 'Cus I wanna make sure mah li'l sister is safe."

Twilight stared at Applejack in silence for a few moments. Conflicting thoughts ran through her mind. Indecision began to gnaw at her, and it only made her more frustrated than she was before.

"Ya gonna do it, Twi?"

"I-" Twilight said softly. Then she shook her head violently and proclaimed, "No! No, I can't do that to Luna! It wouldn't be right!"

"Twilight-" Applejack began in a scolding voice.

"I can't communicate with Princess Celestia without Spike anyway."

"Well we'll go get 'im! I'm guessin' the little guy's at Rarity's, am I right?"

"Well, yeah…but…"

"So c'mon! Stop wastin' time!"

" _No_!" Twilight shouted, "I'm not going to tattle on Luna! That's just immature!"

Applejack groaned in frustration. "This ain't tattlin', Twi…" she muttered.

"Um…Twilight?" Fluttershy spoke up slightly.

"Twilight, I think Applejack might be right," Dash interjected.

Twilight shifted her gaze between her three friends, all of whom were giving her imploring looks. Her heart fell as she realized that she was alone with her opinion; they were all teaming up to disagree with her. Her mind had been pretty set on trying to fix this herself, but if three of her best friends in the whole world were in agreement against her, then maybe she was wrong.

Still, she was filled with indecision. "But…"

Three knocks resounded on the library's front door.

Twilight cursed under her breath. "Ugh…Now what?" She held up a hoof to her mouth, indicating for the others to be silent. Once they all nodded, she called out, "Who is it?"

"It's Princess Celestia, Twilight!" came the pleasant, melodic response.

Twilight felt her heart stop. Her blood ran cold as her jaw fell. _Oh no!_ Her mind was screaming at her. _Oh no, oh no, oh no!! This is bad!! Bad, bad, bad!_ She saw the others' eyes widen in shock as well. Twilight's panic built up into a full-blown assault on her mind. Her heart began to pound in her chest.

"Um…Just a minute!" she called out in the best innocent-sounding voice she could muster. She then lowered her voice to harsh whisper and said, "Quick! Go! Take her and hide her! Take her to the basement!"

"Twi…" Applejack said, thankfully also in a whisper, "She's here now. Just tell 'er."

"Are you _crazy_?!" Twilight whispered back, "Look, whether you girls are right or not, we cannot let Celestia see us _hiding Luna from her_. That would be a whole lot worse! Then we'd all get in trouble!"

She saw fear creep its way into Dash's and Fluttershy's expressions, but Applejack merely looked annoyed. She groaned and muttered, "Ah, Twi…"

"Go! Just go! Please!"

Applejack sighed. "Fine…"

The two pegasi and earth pony worked as quickly as they could to pick up Luna and move her to the basement doorway. Dash and Fluttershy held onto her as they beat their wings, while Applejack carried her on her back. Once they reached the doorway, Twilight opened it with her magic, hastily ushering them through, and then quickly shutting it tight behind them.

She let out a sigh of mild relief, a small percentage of her panic dying away.

As she walked over to the front door, she took some deep breaths to calm herself. _Okay,_ she told herself, _Just act normal. Everything's normal, everything's fine. There's no hungover Princesses in the building._

Putting on the best smile she could muster, she opened the front door part-way. "Princess! What a lovely surprise!"

The grand, impressive and, Twilight was only now noticing, imposing stature of the immortal Princess of the sun stood towering over her on the other side of the doorway. Princess Celestia, her coat shining a brilliant shade of near-white, and her mane flowing on an invisible, ethereal wind, smiled a smile so warm and friendly it could melt the ice from the coldest, meanest pony's heart.

Twilight Sparkle was terrified.

"My faithful student, how wonderful to see you," the Princess greeted in her warm, melodious voice.

"What, uh…What are you doing here, Your Highness?" Twilight asked, working overtime to keep her nerves under control.

"Well I was meeting with Ponyville's Mayor for some important business and I thought I'd stop by since I was in the neighbourhood."

"Ohh, hahaha," Twilight said with painfully forced laughter, "How nice! That was really nice of you, Princess! You're so nice!"

Celestia gave her a golden, glorious smile. "May I come in?"

"No!" Twilight said, then mentally punched herself for blurting out like that. "I mean, ah, well, um…" she floundered, "I'm entertaining company today."

"Oh?"

"Yeaaahhh…" Twilight dragged out her response, thinking as quickly as she could for valid excuses, "My…my friends are over."

The Princess' smile couldn't be more radiant. "Oh, well I'm sure they won't mind. Your friends all know me."

Celestia began to step forward, but Twilight cut her off in, what she hoped, was the most respectable way possible. "Ah, actually, um…We'd love to have you, but…um…We're…playing games."

Celestia blinked. "Games?"

"Yes!" Twilight said, nodding, "We're having a game party and playing games and doing game…stuff…You're probably really busy and so you probably don't have time to play games with us. And…well, since we're kinda in the middle of one, we can't really stop to chat with you."

Celestia nodded with a small frown. "Yes, I am quite busy, you're right."

Twilight celebrated inside her mind.

"But do you mind if I step in for a moment anyway?"

The celebration instantly died. "Wh- Uh, Why?" she asked, as inconspicuously as possible.

Celestia gave a light airy laugh that could almost be called a giggle. "Well, Twilight, I'm looking for a particular book."

Twilight's ears perked up. "Oh? A book?"

"Yes, I would like to borrow a book that I believe is here in your library."

"Oh…Um…" Twilight's eyes darted left and right as she wracked her brain frantically for some sort of excuse. She couldn't say the library was closed; she would have let the Princess in anyway in such a case. And, try as she might, she could not bring herself to simply tell Celestia "No" and that she was just too busy with her friends.

It was just a single book she wanted. That wouldn't take very long.

"Umm…Yeah. All right, if it's just a book you want, I think I could let you intrude for a few moments," she said, stepping back and opening the door further, allowing the Princess entrance.

Celestia smiled warmly. "Thank you, Twilight."

The two entered the main area of the library. Twilight's nerves were shot and her heart was pounding mercilessly in her chest, but she put on a calm outward appearance and tried to smile.

She saw the Princess gazing around curiously. "…Where are your friends, Twilight?" she asked. Her tone was that of someone who can't believe they have to ask such a question.

"Uhhh…" Twilight's mind worked fast. _What did I say? Games! We're playing games…_ "We're playing hide 'n' seek!"

"Hide 'n' seek?"

Twilight smiled and nodded quickly. "Yup! Heh heh…They're all hiding somewhere…and I'm 'it'."

Celestia seemed to accept this explanation, or at least Twilight hoped so. "I see," she stated, "They're all waiting for you to find them?"

"Heh, yeah…" Twilight said, "They're not coming out because you're here because we play for real! Um…We stick to the true, uh…nature of the game. You stay hiding until you're found, no matter what."

Twilight blinked. Why did she say all of that? Why? Celestia hadn't asked. That was a big, unprovoked blurt-out of information! That sounded suspicious even to her!

Celestia turned to her and gave her a quick smile. "Well, I'll try not to eat up too much of your time, then."

Twilight inwardly sighed. "Yeah, okay! So, you wanted a book? What's it called?"

"Well, that is the problem…" Celestia replied with a frown, "I can't remember."

Twilight's stomach fell. "…What?" She stared at the Princess in disbelief.

Celestia gave a bashful smile. "Let me explain…Once, a long while ago, before you came to live in this library, I was visiting a previous librarian here. The visit wasn't anything particularly special, so it doesn't stand out well in my mind unfortunately. What I do remember, however, was reading this fascinating book on ancient magic. I decided I wanted to read it again, but I realized that I couldn't remember much about it."

Twilight's frown hung heavy on her face. She hastily suppressed a loud groan. "So…" she spoke slowly, "How…can I help you?" She was feeling very confused and, truth be told, she didn't have time for being confused.

"Well, I remember two things specifically about it," Celestia continued, "It had an image of a star on the front,"

Twilight nodded. "Okay. That doesn't help a whole lot; there are a lot of books with stars on them. But it narrows it down a bit. What else?"

"It was in the basement."

Twilight's heart skipped a beat. Her eyes shot open wide and her ears splayed back. _The basement?!_ she screamed internally, _Of all the places in this whole building, the basement?!_ It took every single amount of effort in Twilight to keep herself from yelling or stomping her hooves in utter frustration.

Instead, she cleared her throat. "Uh…The basement, you say?"

Celestia nodded. "Yes, I recall a few bookshelves down there for certain, special books. They're still there are they not?"

Twilight nodded slowly. She often forgot about the books in the basement. Ever since she had installed her electronic analysis device down there, the bookshelves had been shoved into the background and hardly used. The books down there were either archaic and written in an ancient language, or were specially reserved and required permission to borrow.

It sat in the basement where three fugitive ponies and a hungover Princess now resided.

"Umm…" she muttered, "Are you sure?" She hoped and pleaded that Celestia had made a mistake.

Celestia nodded. "I'm positive. That's where I read the book, after all. Unless it's been moved for some reason, it should still be down there.

Twilight stared straight ahead, thinking fast. What to do? What to _do_?! Sure, Celestia was right; the book might not be down there any more. However, there was a good chance it was. Twilight had barely touched the books in the basement in her entire time staying at the library, and had certainly not moved or removed any of them. Unless a previous librarian had touched it, it was still there.

She looked up at her Princess, who was still smiling at her. She tried and tried to work up the courage to just give an excuse. _The stairway is broken. I moved those books. The basement is flooded._

However, Twilight simply couldn't bring herself to lie to Princess Celestia. It was just too much to ask of herself. Everything she had said before had not explicitly been a lie. She _was_ entertaining company, and they _were_ hiding. Telling an outright lie, however, was not something Twilight could do. Not to her Princess.

"Basement…" she muttered slowly, "Got it…You're sure it's down there?"

Celestia nodded. "I'll definitely recognize it once I see it."

"Right…" Twilight groaned in her mind. There was no logical reason to ask Celestia to stay upstairs; she needed her to identify the book. "And you definitely want it right now?"

"It would be most convenient if I could pick it up now. Otherwise, I'll have to travel back to Ponyville some other time."

Twilight took a deep breath. "Okay, sure…" Her mind had been working frantically to come up with solutions. "Follow me." This was going in the worst possible direction. "Right this way."

But she would try her best to handle it.

Twilight quickly trotted over to the doorway leading to the basement. She opened it up halfway and then turned back to look at the Princess. "Gee," she said in a volume slightly louder than her speaking voice, "I hope some of my friends are _hiding_ down in the basement! 'Cus they'd be good at hide 'n' seek if they were! Maybe we'll find them when we go down there, Princess Celestia! It wouldn't be much fun if they were just _standing in the open down there!_ Haha!"

She gave Celestia a toothy grin. The Princess just gazed at her oddly.

"Right! So…" Twilight said, positioning herself between Celestia and the basement door, "What kind of book is this? What's it about?"

"Oh, it's a very old book. It's written in Old Equestrian, and it's one of the oldest works directly related to the study of unicorn magic."

Twilight could barely hear shuffling coming from the basement below. "Wow! That's so interesting!" she said, trying desperately to buy time, "What kinds of things does it talk about?"

"Well, being from such a long passed era, it's quite antiquated by now. Modern findings have disproven a lot of what is said in it. It is, however, a very interesting read and a wonderful glimpse into the past."

Twilight paused, forcing a smile as she strained to listen for further noises. Celestia was giving her a strange look; Twilight discerned that the Princess was probably wondering why they were not entering the door. No more sounds could be heard from the basement, so Twilight took a quick, deep breath, said a quick, silent luck prayer, and turned around.

"Okay!" she called out as she began to descend the steps, "Let's go down into the basement now, Princess!"

"Excellent," she heard the Princess reply from behind, followed by the sound of golden-shod hoofsteps following her. Twilight's heart was threatening to beat itself straight out of her chest. Her eyes roamed around the poorly-lit basement, searching for signs of her friends. She was trying her best not to panic or freak out.

As she descended the stairs, perhaps a little too slowly, she saw no sign of anypony. The basement appeared deserted. All that could be seen was her analysis device, the desks that surrounded it, and the two small bookshelves that were collecting dust. _Okay…_ she said to herself, sounding nervous even inside her own head, _So far, so good…_

Twilight reached the bottom of the staircase and turned around. Celestia was following behind her, taking more care on the steps due to her taller stature. She didn't appear to be looking around at the room or to have noticed anything.

"Right!" Twilight said as the Princess reached the bottom, "Let's find that book!"

As Celestia smiled and nodded, Twilight's eyes were frantically darting around the room still. Much to her relief, she still could not spot any sign of her friends. She had to hand it to them; they had hidden themselves well. It appeared as if they'd simply been teleported away.

Celestia began trotting towards one of the bookshelves, passing by a workstation with stacks of paper on it. Twilight made to follow after her, but as her eyes drifted to the workstation, her blood froze. The very tip of a fairly distinctive and easily recognizable pink tail was sticking out ever so slightly.

Twilight nearly panicked. "Ah! Hang on!" she said, suddenly darting in front of Celestia, who stepped back in surprise. "Let's, uh…try the other one first!" When Celestia arched an eyebrow at her, Twilight laughed fretfully and said in a quiet voice, "I…have a good feeling about that one."

The unicorn began trotting across to the other side of the room, waving for the Princess to follow. Celestia chuckled and turned in the direction her protégé was running. Twilight was already scanning the bookshelf, using her magic to pull some of the books out.

Before she began approaching, she leaned down, gazed at the yellow pegasus under the workstation, and winked.

"Gotcha…" she whispered.

Fluttershy nearly fainted.

***

Rainbow Dash was uncomfortable.

In the heat of the moment when Twilight had shouted her veiled warning, she had somehow been elected to be in charge of hiding the heavy, cumbersome object that was currently Princess Luna. Now, she found herself on the second rung of a metal shelf, wedged up next to the hungover princess, barely concealed behind boxes and other metal things.

It was extremely uncomfortable.

She had been watching the events through a small gap between the objects on the shelf. She'd seen Twilight and the Princess descend the stairs and enter the room. She kept a close eye on Celestia, watching her movements and facial expressions to see if the jig was up. It didn't appear to be…at least not yet.

She'd nearly lost her cool when she'd seen Celestia bend down next to Fluttershy's hiding place. Then, when the Princess had done nothing more, she had remembered what Twilight had shouted earlier. Celestia thought they were playing hide 'n' seek. So, everything was fine for now.

She just had to make sure she won.

Celestia and Twilight spent a few minutes looking through one of the bookshelves. The Princess was mostly occupied with looking at each of the books Twilight pulled out. Dash had no idea what they were looking for, but she hoped they'd find it soon.

After what felt like an eternity, they moved to the other bookshelf. As they walked, they passed by the place where Applejack was hiding. Twilight continued ahead at a brisk pace, but Celestia stopped momentarily.

Dash silently cursed. _She found both of them with no problem…I hope my hiding spot is good enough…_

Of the three hiding ponies, her spot was furthest away from the bookshelves. As long as they found whatever book they were looking for and immediately departed, Celestia would have no hope of finding her. She tried to grin and reassure herself of this, but her anxiety still gnawed at her.

_Either way, this'd better be over soon because I'm totally SQUISHED in here! Gahhh!!_

As the two ponies in the open inspected more books, Celestia spoke up idly. "Your friends are excellent hiders, Twilight."

Dash saw Twilight freeze for a moment, almost dropping the book she was holding with her magic. "Wh-what do you mean?" she asked, turning to face her mentor, "Did you find somepony?"

Celestia's only response was a wink and a smile.

Dash could almost see the sweat on Twilight's face. "Eh heh heh…" the unicorn laughed nervously. Celestia gave her a light chuckle before returning her attention to the books.

The hidden pegasus continued to watch the two anxiously. _C'mon, Twilight…_ she silently pleaded, _Find that book and get out of here._ Twilight and the Princess worked their way through more than half of the bookshelf, still turning up nothing.

"Maybe it's not here any more," Twilight offered.

"Mmm…" Celestia said with a frown, "That would be unfortunate. But let's not give up yet."

More anxious waiting as they moved through another quarter of the books. One shelf remained. Either the book was there, or was not here at all. In either case, Dash would soon be able to move again, and the anticipation was killing her. She couldn't stand being still for so long. She needed to _move_.

Dash nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard moaning. As she tried to restart her heart, she glanced beside her.

Luna was moving. She was stirring slightly, she was blearily cracking open her eyes, but she was also moaning.

"Twilight?" Celestia spoke, "Was that you?"

Dash, thinking quickly, clamped one of her hooves over Luna's mouth. The night Princess' eyes shot open slightly as she made a muffled sound of surprise. She looked up at Dash, who very quietly shushed her with a stern look upon her face.

"Uhh…Yeah that was me," Dash heard Twilight saying, "I have, uh…a bit of a headache."

"Oh, you poor dear," Celestia said soothingly, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, heh…It's not too bad."

Luna was looking at Dash through half-closed, confused eyes. Dash slowly removed her hoof, though she kept up her stern glance in order to get across the message of, _Stay quiet!_

Luna's eyes were bloodshot. She kept her eyes half-open, and her face appeared strained. She groaned again, thankfully a lot more silently. "Wh…What's going on…?" she whispered.

Dash took another glance out of her hiding spot. Neither pony had heard, so she turned back to Luna. "Just stay quiet," she whispered back.

Luna shut her eyes, grimacing and quietly moaning. Dash could easily tell what she was feeling; a pounding in her head and a whirlpool in her stomach. It was a feeling she was quite familiar with.

"Aha!" The Princess' voice rang out through the room, "That's it! That's the book!"

Dash's eyes shot open and she whipped her head back to the opening. Gazing through it, she saw Twilight levitating a heavy, green book with gold trim on the spine. On the cover, she could just barely make out some kind of swirly star design.

"Oh yes, of course!" Twilight said, "I should have guessed you wanted this book. I've read it myself a few times. It's really fascinating."

_Yes!_ Dash celebrated in her head, imaging herself doing somersaults and aerial flips. This annoying, cramped game of hide 'n' seek would finally end.

"Blugh…" came a voice from beside her. It wasn't particularly loud, but was a little too loud for comfort, persuading Dash to look back at Luna and shush her again.

Luna did not look well. Her face appeared to be a muted shade of green. Her mouth was hanging open and groaning lowly, and her eyes were glazed over. Her head pitched forward slightly as she made a retching sound and quickly closed her mouth.

Dash's blood froze and her eyes shot wide open. "No…" she whispered harshly, "No, no, Luna! No!"

Luna shut her eyes and grimaced again, unable to hold back a fairly loud moan.

After a few tense seconds, Dash heard Twilight make a moan of her own.

"Twilight, are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes, Princess. I just need some food, I think. From the kitchen. Upstairs."

Luna spasmed a few more times, groaning deeply from the pit of her stomach. Dash was sweating bullets now, waving her hooves as much as she could at Luna. "Luna, don't!" she whispered, "Hold it in! C'mon!"

Again, Twilight parroted the moans.

"Twilight," Celestia said concernedly, "You sound as if you're about to throw up. Are you feeling sick?"

"Umm…"

Luna shut her eyes and grit her teeth, but a particularly loud groan escaped from her lips as she pitched forward again, knocking against the cardboard box that was concealing her.

"Luna," Dash continued to harshly whisper, "I'm begging you."

Luna planted her hooves firmly on the shelf.

"Whatever you do…"

She pushed her head forward against the box.

"Don't-"

The box fell away off the shelf. Luna followed it, tossing her head over the edge of the shelf and vomiting copiously into it.

"…puke…"

Dash cautiously peeked her head out from behind Luna's hunched over, trembling form. Celestia was staring, wide-eyed, at the spectacle before her. Her mouth hung open slightly. Twilight was staring at the ground and holding a hoof to her forehead.

For a few moments, the room was filled with the wonderful sound of Luna heaving up the contents of her stomach. When she was finally done, she slumped over the edge of the shelf, hooves and head dangling like a rag doll's, and groaning painfully.

A second of noticeable silence passed.

"Luna…?" Celestia spoke in an utterly disbelieving voice.

The hungover Princess moaned and strained to lift her head up. She made eye contact with her older sister, blinked, and gave her a goofy grin.

"Hi Tia…" she muttered before groaning and slumping over again.

***

The six ponies were currently gathered in the main room of the library. Luna was laying on the couch, her head resting on three pillows and a bag of ice resting just above her horn. Her face was in a perpetual state of discomfort and she occasionally gave off a quiet moan of pain.

Celestia, who was looking at her, sighed and shook her head. "Luna, really…" she muttered, "How much did you have to drink last night?"

"Ummm…" Luna grunted in a raspy voice, partially muffled by the pillow, "I lost track once I forgot how to count…"

Celestia rubbed the bridge of her snout with her hoof and gave a huff of irritation. "Luna, what were you _doing_ last night?"

Luna's mouth cracked a small smile. "I have _no_ idea, Tia…"

The older Princess sighed again.

The younger sister giggled softly. "I can't remember aaaanything…"

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Just rest, Luna," she said before turning around and facing Twilight and her three friends. They were all sitting on the floor, trying to make themselves look as small as possible, and gazing up at her with guilt-filled eyes.

"So, tell me what happened," she said to them.

"Um…" Twilight murmured in a quiet voice, "Dash found her."

Celestia's gaze shifted to Dash, who gave a start like she'd received an electric shock. "Uh…Yeah! I woke up, stepped outside my house, and there she was."

"Really, Luna?" Celestia said, breaking conversation and turning to Luna again, "Passing out on ponies' doorsteps?"

Luna didn't respond. She just closed her eyes and held the ice bag to her head.

Sighing, Celestia returned her attention to Dash.

"Ummm…" Dash muttered, stirring uncomfortably, "I called Twilight for help, and well…she, um…"

Celestia's gaze shifted back to Twilight.

"I, uh…" Twilight broke eye contact with the Princess and stared at the floor. "I thought it was important to hide her. Y'know…so nopony would see her like this…"

"Well," Celestia said evenly, "You were right about that. The public need not know about such…improper behaviour. But why did you bring her here?"

"I, uh…Thought I could fix this…"

Celestia leaned forward and directed a very stern gaze at Twilight. "'Fix this'? Twilight, why did you not simply inform me?"

Twilight shrunk back. "Um…"

"Dragonfire can reach me no matter where I am on the globe. And unless Spike is out of town, which I doubt he is, then you should have had no problem contacting me as soon as possible!"

Twilight splayed her ears and focused her attention on the wood beneath her hooves.

"Twilight!" Celestia commanded in a loud voice, causing Luna to moan in distress, "Speak!"

"I…" Twilight shuddered as she spoke. "I just could- I couldn't just…I couldn't tattle on Luna like that…"

"What?"

Twilight winced. "I- I- I mean…She wasn't hurting anypony, a-and I did my best to keep her hidden, and I thought I could fix this- I really did, Princess! And- And I mean…" A few tears began to fall to the ground.

Celestia softened her gaze when she saw this. "Twilight…" she said in a more calm voice, "I don't understand…It should have been your first priority to inform me."

"B-but…" Twilight sputtered, trying to hold back tears, "I couldn't- It wouldn't have been ri- It wouldn't have been fair t- I mean…"

Celestia frowned. "Twilight…"

"Wait, wait, hold up!" Dash suddenly interjected, stepping forward. "Your Majesty, if you'll pardon me," she said before sitting directly between the two, facing Twilight. "Twi, what's this really all about?"

Twilight sniffled. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Why was it so important to you that we didn't tell the Princess about this? Telling the Princess is _always_ Plan A with you! So what's the deal this time?"

Celestia awkwardly glanced over the top of Dash's head at Twilight. "She's right," she said, "A few months ago, you sent me a letter informing me that the mayor's basement had flooded."

"I…I don't-" Twilight started.

"Yeah, Twi," Applejack said, stepping up to her side, "Y'all were pretty adamant about keepin' this whole thing under wraps. What gives?"

"Um," Fluttershy added meekly, "I was wondering that too, so…um…if it's all right with you…?"

Twilight's eyes darted around to the other four ponies, who were all gazing at her expectantly. She moved her mouth uselessly for a few moments, trying to come up with something to say; some way out of this. When her eyes once again met those of the Princess, she slumped her shoulders and sighed in defeat.

"All right," she spoke sadly, "Here's the thing…Girls?" She turned and looked at her friends. "When I told you that I've never had a drink of alcohol ever…that was sort of a lie."

Her friends' eyes widened in surprise, but they kept silent and let her continue.

"It was summer after my eighth year at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. My roommates from the semester invited me to come to a small party to celebrate the end of the school year. I was afraid my parents weren't going to let me go, but they did. They told me they trusted me enough to let me go to a party on my own, especially since I was growing up.

"When I got there, it wasn't very much of a party. It was just myself, my two roommates, and two other friends of theirs. We played a few games, talked about school, and had a pretty fun time. But then, my roommate went down into her basement and came back up with a case of beers…"

Twilight shuffled her hooves on the floor. "I was pretty shocked. I was well under the legal drinking age at that point. They all readily cracked open a bottle and began guzzling it down, and they encouraged me and pressured me to have some. They said, 'You should at least try a sip.' I was really hesitant. I didn't want to hurt myself, and I also didn't want to get in trouble."

Twilight hung her head even lower, letting her purple mane obscure her face. "But finally, I gave in to temptation. You know me; I'm very curious. I figured one little sip couldn't hurt." Twilight shivered slightly. "And pretty soon, three empty bottles were on the ground, their contents all in my stomach."

"Oh wow…" Dash murmured.

"I got really…well, tipsy. I said a lot of stupid things, I couldn't stop giggling…I was a mess."

Dash was unable to suppress a smile. Applejack gave her a dirty look.

"Two hours later, everypony had to go home, and so I walked out onto the streets of Canterlot. Well…I was definitely not walking. Stumbling is probably a better word. I meandered around, falling over all the time, swaying back and forth…all the while constantly giggling. I could _not_ stop giggling…"

Dash let out a giggle herself. Another dirty look from Applejack.

"It was late at night by this point. Luckily nopony saw me on the streets…Maybe they did and I just didn't notice. Finally I made it home, after walking up to the wrong door three times." Twilight groaned. "I remember exactly what happened…

"My mom opened the door and said with a smile on her face, 'Welcome home, honey!' Then her eyes shot open and she had this horrified look on her face. I swayed a bit to the side, giggled like a little filly, and said, 'You've got stars on your butt.'"

Silence filled the library.

"I don't know…" Twilight moaned, "I was so drunk. Needless to say, my parents were furious with me. They were so mad, and they were up all night yelling at me. They kept saying that they had trusted me, and eventually I started to realize that I had betrayed their trust. I was really upset, and I felt so guilty."

"Aw, Twi…" Applejack said compassionately, "It's okay! Everythin' worked out in the end, didn't it?"

"Yeah!" Dash added, "Everypony screws up sometimes and makes their parents mad. It's just a part of life!"

Twilight shivered again. "That…wasn't the worst part…" She took a deep breath and continued. "The next day, I had a huge hangover. I stayed in bed with ice on my head. I was just trying to endure the pounding and the pain…I couldn't move.

"And then…Shining Armor came home. You see, Shining was in military training at the time. The family hadn't seen him in a couple of years. He'd gotten some leave and had decided to surprise all of us with a visit. He'd gotten tickets to a show in the heart of Canterlot and wanted the whole family to come with him. It was supposed to be one of the best days ever.

"But I was hungover in bed. I could barely talk to him when he came up to see me. My head just hurt too much. I couldn't go; the whole day was ruined. I didn't get to spend any time with my brother, who I hadn't seen in such a long time. He was on a really tight schedule, so he had to go back to the training camp that evening.

"The whole thing was ruined, all because of me. It was the worst day of my entire life…"

The room was filled with an eerie silence afterwards. Twilight didn't lift her head, continuing to stare at the ground in shame.

"Twilight, I'm surprised," Celestia spoke, "You never told me about this."

"I…I couldn't…"

"Wow, Twi," Dash muttered, "That's harsh. That's really harsh."

"Shucks, I'm sorry, sugarcube," Applejack said, "That's rough."

"From that day on, I promised I would never ever drink ever again," Twilight spoke, "A-And that's why…I didn't want to tell you, Princess." She finally looked up, gazing at Celestia with sad, tear-filled eyes and a huge frown. "I-I didn't want Luna to go through the same thing. I couldn't let it happen. I…I didn't want her to feel the same guilt and shame and to have you yell at her and-"

"Twilight," Celestia spoke in a calm voice, "I'm not mad at Luna."

Twilight blinked. "Y-You're not?"

"You're not…?" came a raspy voice from the couch.

Celestia shook her head. "No, I'm just…a little frustrated with her. Perhaps 'annoyed' is a better word. I wish she had shown a little more restraint and perhaps had handled herself with a little more decorum, but I'm not mad at her."

"R-Really…?" Twilight muttered.

Celestia turned back and glanced at her sister on the couch. A small smile graced her lips. "No, I could never be mad at you, Luna. I suppose I should have expected something like this would happen eventually. You are a grown mare after all, and you do like to have a lot more fun than I do."

Luna just groaned.

Celestia returned her gaze to Twilight, "But Twilight, I want you to think about something. I was out and about while this was happening, so I thought Luna was safe at home. But imagine if you had continued hiding her here and I had returned home, only to find her missing. Do you know how worried I'd be Twilight? I'd think that something awful had happened to her."

Twilight hung her head. "I…I didn't think of that…"

"You shouldn't think of it as tattling, Twilight," Celestia said with a warm smile, "It's simply letting me know that my sister has…done something stupid and needs me."

"Hey…" Luna groaned.

"I…" Twilight mumbled, "I guess…"

Celestia leaned down closer to Twilight. "Tattling would be letting me know that Luna took the last piece of pie from your fridge." She smiled and winked.

"Tia!" Luna spoke up. She immediately winced and held a hoof to the ice bag on her head. "Ow…"

Twilight nodded slowly. "I…I guess you're right, Princess Celestia. I'm sorry for what I did." She looked around at her friends. "And I'm sorry I dragged all of you into this. This was my fault."

"Ah, don't worry about it," Dash replied with a grin.

"T'ain't no probl'm, Twi," Applejack said.

"Yeah, um…It's okay, Twilight…" Fluttershy whispered.

Twilight turned back to Celestia. "I'm sorry, Princess. I should have told you as soon as I found out about her. You're absolutely right; her safety is what's most important. She was in a bad place and needed help, and my first priority should have been to let you know that she was here and relatively safe."

Celestia beamed. "That's an excellent lesson, my faithful student."

Twilight finally smiled. "Thank you, Princess. I'll try my best to remember it in the future. I'm definitely glad that I learned it."

"And _I_ learned that Princess Luna likes to party!" Dash interjected, flapping her wings and zipping over next to Luna, "We totally have to hang out some time and have a few drinks!"

Applejack rolled her eyes.

Luna groaned and grimaced from Dash's loud voice. "Not s'loud, Dash…" she muttered. "Ugh…"

Twilight closed her eyes and held her head up high. "And I shall continue to never drink again, because that's my choice."

"Mnnn…Me too…" Luna moaned and grimaced. "My wing huuuurts…" she whined.

Dash glanced away and awkwardly rubbed the back of her head with her hoof. "Ah, yeah…Sorry about that."

Twilight got to her hooves and also stepped over to Luna, giving her a smile. She then turned to Celestia and said, "Just…promise you won't be _too_ upset with her, Princess Celestia."

Celestia sighed and shook her head. "I'll do my best, Twilight," she said, "I suppose it's really all right in the end…As long as nopony got hurt and you didn't do anything foolish, Luna."

Luna just groaned again. "My horn huuurts…" she continued to whine, "It feels like I did a big huge spell…"

"Honestly, Luna…" Celestia said in frustration, "What _did_ you do last night?"

Luna just shook her head slightly and frowned. "I dunno, Tia…I dunno. I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything stupid…At least I hope I didn't…"

***

The vast, empty landscape of the moon stood silent, colourless, and still. The celestial body, making its orbit around the green and blue planet below, offered nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to do. Endless stretches of featureless crags, valleys and mountains, all a dull shade of empty grey.

Pinkie Pie bounced off a rock and landed on the surface. "Hellooooo?!" she called out into the nothingness, "Where _are_ you?!"

She stood and waited for a reply, but nothing came.

Pinkie grunted in annoyance. "Where the hay is Luna? I wanna see this super-cool-awesome thing she wanted to show me!"

The pink mare stood still for a moment, frustration written across her face. Then she smiled brightly and began hopping away. "Oh well! Lalalala! Bouncin' on the moon! Lalala!! Wish I had my spoon…"

The End


End file.
